Tenpin torture in Skegness

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Click photo to enlarge.

Eighteen innocent conscripts were transported to Skegness, the doors were locked, we were fitted with special shoes and each made to carry around a very heavy round object that resembled a coloured cannonball. Fortunately these balls were not chained to our ankles but we were instructed to hold them by inserting our fingers into holes that were measured for ladies more accustomed to doing fine needlework. We warily inserted our podgy digits, fearing that it would require those brave lads from the Fire Brigade to remove them.

We were split into three chain gangs and made to roll our cannonballs at groups of skittles that were innocently waiting to be attacked, some considerable distance away from us. Many of us took great pity on the skittle pins by avoiding hitting them at all, but as always, there were one or two who took great delight in knocking them over and creating work for the little fellows who live in the box above the pins and have the tedious job of putting them up again.

It soon became apparent that it had been a wise decision to put Skegness Hospital A&E on full alert and to pre-book appointments with the osteopath, as the creaking of backs was getting ever louder.

Despite all the abuse to our crumbling spines, everyone rose to the occasion by giving Hilary a smile as she photographed the tortured old folk. Even more amazing - everyone asked if they could come back for more, later in the year! There are no folk like the British for getting pleasure out of pain!!!!

It was difficult to spot winners amongst the carnage but if you need someone with strength of arm and an ability to hit things accurately at 20 metres, you could do far worse than talk to John Richardson, Eric Thornally or Norvel Willerton.

Thank you to chain gang leader Barbara Willoughby for organising such pleasurable torture.